She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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