i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize