I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize