your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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