you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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