And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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