i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize