Don't make out with my wife yet
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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