My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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