Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize