I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize