i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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