last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
how does that bad decision feel?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize