umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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