wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
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8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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