Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize