those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
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I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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