Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize