I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize