haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize