Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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