He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
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I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
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coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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