O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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