dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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