I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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