Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize