FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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