Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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