Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
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Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
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