i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize