why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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