i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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