he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize