i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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