you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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