i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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