New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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