I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize