...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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