I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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