I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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