watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize