you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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