He is an equal opportunity slut.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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