remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I forget how to act sober
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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