p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
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Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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