I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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