Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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