he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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