Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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